To Form a Smile, To Shed a Tear
by Deathwing
Summary: Heero's having some emotional problems...shounen ai: 1x2 Mild language..first fic! YAHOO!!Please R&R!!! Thanx! By the by, my pen name used ta be Quatre Lover, in case ya wanted ta know!


Please read Note: We are actually two people writing together. I'm sure you've seen me around, posting reviews as Quatre Lover. My friend is someone else. I don't know what she'll go by if she writes a story by herself but I'm sure she'll let you know. Together, we are the Dealers of Death. This is our first time writing any story here so please excuse the terribleness of it all.   
Disclaimer:We do not own Gundam Wing although we wish we did. This story is ours, though. If we did copy someone else's idea, it was unintentional and we're sorry. THIS IS SHOUNEN-AI! DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT.  
Please read and review, thanx!  
  
  
To Form a Smile, To Shed a Tear  
By: The Dealers of Death  
  
Heero Yuy was in a deep sleep. He was dreaming, dreaming that he was trapped in a small chamber. A shadow slowly oozed across the floor. Creeping nearer and nearer with each second slowly ticking by.  
  
Meanwhile, Duo Maxwell, the frivolous American pilot awoke. He had a strange feeling something extraordinary would happen today and skipped down the hall to Heero's bedroom.  
  
"Heero? Hello? Wake up, Sleepyhead!"  
  
The only reply was a faint moan. Duo sighed and started to jump and bounce around on the bed trying his best not to step on the sleeper. Heero woke with a start. Duo froze. Sitting across the Japanese pilot, he looked Heero over. A wide-eyed look of shock was in his deep blue eyes. Duo could tell that his Heero's teeth were clenched tightly together and he was trembling all over.  
  
"Heero, is something…?"  
  
"No!" Heero firmly pulled Duo's braid.  
  
"Owchie!" Duo cried out in pain. Heero didn't seem to notice and started punching his pillow until little pieces of fluff were floating around the room.  
  
"What's the matter?" Duo forced Heero to look at him. "C'mon! Tell me what's wrong!" Duo pleaded, his violet eyes piercing into Heero's mind. Heero looked away and pushed Duo onto the floor.  
  
"No," Heero said, still not looking at Duo.  
  
  
The whole morning, Heero was curled up in a lounge chair staring blankly into space.  
  
"Heero? Hello? What ever could happened to you?" Quatre asked, holding Heero's breakfast on a tray. Silence was the only reply.  
  
Poor thing, thought Trowa, He's known his whole life that this would eventually happen. His feelings and emotions are slowly killing him. Only, there must be some cure to this. Trowa frowned in frustration.  
  
Heero was trying to figure out why the dream had been as horrible as it was. He remembered sitting there in that small room, cold and alone. There was no sound yet the silence was deafening. The room then had become thick with a choking black fog. In the center of the impenetrable blackness played agonizing memories of his past like a horror movie that could not be stopped. Each one as tragic as the next. The little girl, which whom he had killed accidentally when he was only a small boy. The times he wanted to cry but held the tears in. He had remembered being trained never to let his emotions get a hold of him.  
  
I can't show any sign of feeling! Heero shouted silently Otherwise… I'll lose… To what? He didn't know but still he knew something terrible would happen. What he didn't know, was that he was already losing, with each emotion inside him trying like hell to break free.  
  
"Don't worry," Wufei said, "He should be better tomorrow…Heero's not a pitiful weakling."  
  
"Well, okay. There's pancakes in the pan if you're hungry," Quatre sighed. "Hafta clean out that attic." He sauntered out of the room.  
  
"I'll help," Trowa followed.  
  
"How unhonorable, just standing here and wasting time," Wufei said, "Much better doing something else." He strolled into the kitchen.  
Duo remained, sitting at Heero's feet. Ever since they had moved into the Winner Mansion, Heero had been acting weird. He had constant nightmares and sometimes locked himself in his room for hours at a time.  
  
"Heero…what's bothering you?" Duo asked. Heero turned away to stare in the opposite direction.  
  
"Heero…"  
  
"Go away," Heero rasped, barely a whisper.  
  
"But…"  
  
"Just go…"  
  
Duo was hurt. He stood up and walked slowly towards his room, tears threatening his eyes. He shook them away but more came. He flopped down onto his bed. Duo questioned himself on Heero's strangeness. Was it his fault? Duo shook his head and let out a wail. Did Heero really hate him so much that he wanted to kill himself?  
  
"AARGGGHHH!" Duo yelled in frustration, "Heero! Y-you coward!" Duo lay back on his bed.  
  
No. You're the coward, he said to himself, YOU'RE the one who can't tell him that…  
  
Duo winced at the thought. Did Heero actually even care a damn about him? Duo let out another wail of frustration.  
  
Outside, in the hall, having finished helping clean out the dusty attic, Trowa heard this. He gently rapped on Duo's door.  
"What do you want?" was the reply. Trowa didn't say anything, just waited.  
  
"Come in if you must," came Duo's voice again. Trowa did as he was told. He saw Duo slouched over his pillow, shaking violently. Duo looked up. His eyes were swollen and tears were streaming down his cheeks.  
  
"Trowa!" Duo cried out, surprised. He quickly turned away.  
  
"Might as well tell me what's wrong," Trowa said, sitting on the bed.  
  
"Nothing's wrong!" Duo forced a painful smile. Trowa shook his head and sighed. Gently, he placed a comforting hand on Duo's shoulder. Duo flinched and gazed out the window.  
  
"What should I do?" Duo whispered. "I'm lost…"  
  
"Tell him," Trowa suggested quietly. Duo whirled around, his braid missing Trowa's nose by a hair.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tell him how you feel."  
  
"I…Trowa, how'd you…?"  
  
"It doesn't matter how I know. You have to tell him," Trowa's eyes narrowed, "If you really DO care about him, it's the best thing to do right now! Duo, don't you realize what'll happen if you don't? Heck, don't you realize?"  
Duo sat there, trembling like a little kid, shocked partly because he had never heard Trowa speak more than a sentence at a time, "I-I don't know what you mean, Trowa."  
  
"It's his emotions!" Trowa nearly exploded, "They're trapped inside of him! Jailed! He's the jail keeper and a damn good one at that! But sooner or later, he'll die of all those emotions. Like all other things, emotions are strong when there are many of them. You can't let that happen, Duo! Don't you understand?" Trowa, himself even seemed quite shocked from speaking so much.  
"What am I supposed to do then?" Duo asked timidly.  
  
"Tell him. He'll understand and God knows, it might save him."  
  
"I can't…"  
  
"It's your choice, Duo." Trowa got up and left.  
Duo thought desperately. He finally decided that he would simply wait. But like some things, his choice was soon regretted.  
  
It had been three days since Heero had first started sitting in the lounge chair. By now, everyone, even Wufei, was worried. Heero hadn't ate anything or slept. Overall, everyone came to the conclusion that he hadn't moved except for an occasional sigh or groan. Duo sat by the chair whenever he had the chance but was always forced to leave. Quatre was as nervous as a flea. He would scurry around, shooing poor Duo out of the way, trying to get Heero to eat something. Unfortunately, all his attempts failed. It was on that third day that Heero finally gave in.  
  
Duo was sitting at the kitchen table when he heard a thud coming from the other room. He quickly rushed over. His eyes befell upon a horrid sight. Heero had collapsed and was lying in a heap on the floor. He was a ghostly shade of white. Eyes closed, he was whispering rapidly to himself. Duo tried to catch some of the words.  
  
"No…no…it can't…no…get away…no…I didn't…mean to…please…no," Heero whispered. This was too much for Duo to stand.  
  
"QUATRE!!!!!" he yelled. Quatre was there in a flash. He groaned and called the doctor. Heero was taken to the hospital. Duo sat in the waiting room nervously.  
  
Heero, you better be okay, he thought, Otherwise…I don't know if my life is worth living anymore…Duo broke down into sobs. Quatre tried to comfort his friend.  
  
"Come on now, Duo. It's gonna be okay."  
  
After about two hours later, a nurse came in.  
  
"Are you Mr. Yuy's friends?" she asked. Duo stood up.  
  
"Is he okay?" he asked.  
  
"Well," the nurse said, "He's lacking energy. It's fairly strange for someone just to stop doing anything like that. We're guessing it to be some kind of stress problem."  
  
"Can I go see him?" Duo asked.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure that that would be okay", the nurse smiled. Duo went in. Heero was lying on a bed, eyes closed. Duo moved a little closer.  
  
"Heero…"  
Heero opened his eyes part way, "Duo…"  
  
"What happened, Heero?"  
Heero groaned and coughed. Duo suddenly felt brave.  
  
"Heero…I…"  
Heero looked up with his cobalt blue eyes, the usual shine wasn't in them.  
  
"Heero, I'm sorry…" Duo's eyes were stinging with tears, "Sorry… that I didn't do this sooner…"  
Duo lay his head next to Heero's and grabbed his hand.  
  
"I love you, Heero."  
With great pain from lack of energy, Heero did the unexpected. He leaned over and kissed his lover's lips gently.  
  
"I love you too, Duo and thank you."  
And with that, a smile formed on Heero's face and a tear fell from his eye as peace was made between his emotions and himself.  



End file.
